President Trump wants to reopen Alcatraz as a federal prison.
He’s got the right idea but the wrong prison.
Why waste a lot of taxpayers’ dollars so 1,576 of America’s worst criminals can enjoy multi-million dollar views of San Francisco while breathing in the cool, refreshing, and soothing marine air?
Instead, let them enjoy the 100 degree summers of the San Joaquin Valley when they are in the exercise yard.
They can also take in the sweeping views of dried out fields of weeds while savoring summer inversion weather patterns spiced with wildfire smoke and soot that is occurring with more frequency.
That’s why Trump and his pal Gavin need to work a deal so the state transfers ownership of the shuttered Tracy Deuel Vocational Institute and the 782 acres it sits on to the federal government.
You may ask why Newsom, who never saw a prison cell door he didn’t want to open, would make a deal with Trump? It never hurts to get in good with the big guy while at the same time giving the impression you’re getting tougher on crime so you can increase your chances of getting the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in 2028.
And what better way to look as if you’re for overfunding the police than selling the federal government a prison that once held upwards of 4,000 inmates for a dollar?
Plus, unlike Alcatraz, it has plenty of room for expansion.
Trump knows real estate. A better use for Alcatraz, that last held a prisoner 67 years ago, would be for redevelopment as a Monte Carlo style casino resort for billionaires. No other piece of real estate in San Francisco has so much potential.
Perhaps a 50-story Trump Tower could rise from “The Rock” to dominate the views of all San Franciscans especially that of ex-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as she looks out the windows of her home in posh Pacific Heights.
So what if the prison that was only open for 29 years is one of San Francisco’s biggest attractions that is a must see for visitors around the world?
Given international tourism is plummeting, losing Alcatraz as a tourist trap likely won’t hurt San Francisco’s economy.
Plus, why should Trump give San Francisco a big, beautiful prison with thousands of permanent jobs, construction jobs, and lucrative ongoing vendor contracts that would also create a list of steady longshoreman union jobs given Alcatraz has to be supplied by boat? After all, San Francisco County has 331,778 registered Democrats and only 40,912 Republicans.
Trump also lost San Francisco in a landslide in November while he carried most of the Valley.
One doesn’t reward your sworn enemies, right? And rest assured there are a lot of people in San Francisco who swear around the clock about Trump.
The Monte Carlo conversion also reduces the amount of facilities the National Park Service manages. It would give Elon Musk a big win by eliminating 100 percent of the jobs within a National Park Service unit.
There is also a practical reason why Newsom would want to make Trump’s latest scheme-of-the-day directive come true.
Sacramento spends tons of money every year securing the mothballed DVI property.
And don’t forget the California Legislature in 2007 made it impossible for the 782 acres they own on Kasson Road to be redeveloped for anything else than a prison. It is part of the 200-year floodplain, it can’t be converted to housing, business park, or factories to manufacture goods Americans now buy from China et al unless someone makes a heavy investment in levee upgrades on the west side of the San Joaquin River south of Manteca.
It can, however, within its existing footprint be refurbished so it can once again house prisoners.
But what if Trump wants to expand the prison?
That’s the beauty of the transfer of ownership. The federal government can’t be regulated by the state.
Trump could add another executive order to the 1,001 he issues daily to exempt the Donald Vocational Institute from the 200-year floodplain restrictions.
This opens up a lot of possibilities.
DVI was only closed four years ago compared to 67 years for Alcatraz.
The 2021 figure Newsom used to justify closing the prison, along with the fact he was working overtime to reduce prison terms and make it harder to send more criminals to prison, was the $800 million it would cost to keep the Tracy facility viable as a prison.
It’s likely that segments of DVI could temporarily house prisoners while the rest of the prison was being rehabbed. That would allow a much quicker solution to restoring flights to incarcerate more criminal illegal migrants without triggering the ire of the Black Robe Club.
But instead of going to El Salvador, they can fly to Stockton Metro Airport.
Meanwhile, Trump could build the mother-of-all prisons on undeveloped portions of the DVI site. He’d be creating American jobs in a county that he won in 2024 after losing it in 2000.
Newsom, meanwhile, will have eliminated either the need to eventually raze the prison that under the 200-year flood plain law could not be repurposed or to spend millions securing the site over the years.
It’s a site, by the way, that is destined to become a massive blight owned by the state unless something is done with it fairly soon.
The governor could announce the deal by continuing his chameleon transformation by having Trump on his podcast “This is Gavin Newsom.”
The president could use the podcast to share his decision to rollback tariffs he wanted to slap on the “world’s fifth largest economy” due to what he believes was a conspiracy to hurt the sale of official Trump watches within its jurisdiction.
Rest assured Gavin wouldn’t correct his old political pal that he could not slap tariffs anyway on the world’s fifth largest economy given its California, even though it acts like an independent nation at times.
Newsom, to appease his detractors in the LGBT+ who think he is now pure evil for his stance on transgender males playing in women’s sports despite the fact as San Francisco mayor he trail-blazed legal same sex marriage, could make a major statement regarding transgenders and bathrooms.
Newsom could share his executive order that transgender agriculture workers in California will have equal access to all porta-potties on farms.
Then Trump could gush about his admiration for Newsom for inspiring his strategy for how he conducted his first 100 days in office.
Trump would then reference how in 2004 Newsom as mayor of San Francisco ignored state law, ignored courts, and ignored voters to use an executive order as mayor to legalize same sex marriage.
When all is said and done, converting Alcatraz back into a prison in the wacky world of California politics and the equally wacky world of national politics might just be the most level-headed proposal in the last 100 plus days.
— This column is the opinion of Dennis Wyatt, and does not necessarily represent the opinions of The Courier or 209 Multimedia. He may be reached at dwyatt@mantecabulletin.com
