By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
'Meth for Clunkers': the fed's next big giveaway?
Placeholder Image
NEWS ITEM: Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say tried to trade his 74-year-old father's Lincoln for $50 worth of crack cocaine.

It is no deep dark secret that the Southern San Joaquin Valley has a horrendous drug problem. At the same time the region suffers from what federal experts have labeled the worst air pollution in the nation.

Many of those polluting cars are driven by people who couldn't either afford to take advantage of Cash for Clunkers or simply don't want to give up their dinosaurs.

Given Congress' inability to resist social engineering at the expense of one group of Americans to benefit another, perhaps they'd like to roll out Meth for Clunkers.

It would meet all of the criteria for typical social engineering programs brought to you by Uncle Sam. It must do some good which justifies any bad that comes from it. And it must alter the landscape in some manner so it looks like the folks in DC are doing their jobs.

Here's how it could work.

The fun-loving folks at the Environmental Protection Agency can identify all vehicles they want to wipe off the face of the earth, or at least U.S. soil. They can then offer meth in exchange for the vehicles. It doesn't matter, of course, whether the person turning in the car for meth owns it. The goal is to just get the cars off the street.

Any car that's 1980s or older could go for $50 in meth. Vehicles the EPA and hard-core environmentalist like the most would fetch more meth. For example a big SUV could bring in $100 in meth or a Hummer $200 in meth.

The government could hire the illegal aliens arrested in San Francisco for selling drugs who are shielded from deportation by Mayor Gavin Newsom's administration to run the Meth for Clunkers program. They can then junk the older cars and drive the SUVs and Hummers to their homelands where they could resell them to drug lords. It effectively would put U.S. citizen meth heads out of the stolen car business but hey, we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good.

Ok, you're saying, what happens to the people who get their cars stolen? Well, if they have insurance, then they can put a claim for the stolen vehicle. That way the Meth for Clunkers can stimulate the economy. Victims would be given cash from the insurance companies to go out and buy new cars and those in Congress who now think it is obscene that insurance companies pool billions of dollars to guard against major claims can get some satisfaction.

Granted, those in Congress who are kicking insurance companies in the gut are upset they have $180 billion invested against future claims are referring to health insurance firms. Obviously, Congress won't be happy until everyone runs insurance programs like they run things - making big promises and putting no money aside to pay for them.

Also, Congress' preferred segment of the economy to protect due to the union vote would get more work without violating the promise every politician in Washington. D.C. is making these days to give us butter and guns without raising the deficit further. This way, all they have to do is bankrupt insurance companies and ultimately send insurance rates soaring instead of taxes to sell more cars. It's a scheme that is a dream come true for politicians who want to convince voters they can act like Daddy Warbucks while not increasing taxes.

To recap, here are all of the favorite objectives of social engineering politicians that Meth for Clunkers would accomplish:

• It gets air polluting cars off the streets.

• It gives illegals gainful employment.

• It beats up on capitalistic insurance companies.

• It helps the downtrodden (so they happen to be meth addicts).

• It gets rid of big SUVs and Hummers.

• It delivers on the promise to accomplish something - in these case more car sales - without raising taxes. (So what if it wipes out an insurance company or two.)

You may ask how could Congress follow up on a plan like Meth for Clunkers?

That's easy. All they have to do is offer $8,000 for meth addicts who rat out meth houses for authorities.

Instead of the federal government giving up $8,000 to first-time home buyers to clean up neighborhoods threatened with blight from foreclosures, they can give $8,000 to meth users who'd rat out their mother for a fix to help clean up neighborhoods that are really blighted.

Both programs would operate on the same principal of other incentive-based social engineering programs made popular in our current bail-out culture by dangling cash in front of people to get them to do the government's biding.

To contact Dennis Wyatt, e-mail